Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Husbands are husbands...
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round thehead with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny onit that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the nameof the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on thehead with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse phoned"
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Secret behind married life....
Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"
Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."
X asked, "Can you explain?"
Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."
Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"
Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"
X asked, "Then what is your role?"
Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".
Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."
X asked, "Can you explain?"
Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."
Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"
Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"
X asked, "Then what is your role?"
Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Heaven....
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World.So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China .
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when heNoticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for$10,000 you could talk to God.The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan ..
There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephonewith the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China andHe asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 HeCould talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American.
He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France .. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000Per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone. He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, thereWas the same golden telephone, but thi s time the sign under it read "OneRupee per call."
The American wassurprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven,But in the US the price was $10,000 per call.Why is it so cheap here?" Readers, it is your turn........ Think ....before you scroll down... ............ .................... ......... ........ ......... .......... ......... . ............ ......... ......... ......... ..... ............ ........... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... .......... ......... ........ .................. .......... .......... .......... ........ ...... ............ ......... .......... ........... ........ .................. ......... ......... .......... .......... ...... ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .................. ......... ......... ......... ........ ....... ............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. .......... ......... ......... ........ ...... ............ ........... .......... ......... ........ ...... The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call ".This is the only heaven on the Earth.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when heNoticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for$10,000 you could talk to God.The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan ..
There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephonewith the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China andHe asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 HeCould talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American.
He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France .. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000Per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone. He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, thereWas the same golden telephone, but thi s time the sign under it read "OneRupee per call."
The American wassurprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven,But in the US the price was $10,000 per call.Why is it so cheap here?" Readers, it is your turn........ Think ....before you scroll down... ............ .................... ......... ........ ......... .......... ......... . ............ ......... ......... ......... ..... ............ ........... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... .......... ......... ........ .................. .......... .......... .......... ........ ...... ............ ......... .......... ........... ........ .................. ......... ......... .......... .......... ...... ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .................. ......... ......... ......... ........ ....... ............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. .......... ......... ......... ........ ...... ............ ........... .......... ......... ........ ...... The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call ".This is the only heaven on the Earth.
Lighter side of poems....
Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you, should be kept in the Zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you...
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And....
I got a heart attack straight away...
God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.
Monkeys like you, should be kept in the Zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you...
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And....
I got a heart attack straight away...
God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.
