Sunday, December 25, 2005

 

Thatuvangal !!!


Adayar AnandhaBhavanoda Branch Neraya edathula irukuthu
Ana Adayar Aala marathoda Branch Adayar la mattum than irukuthu!!!


Bus poita bus stand angayae thaan irukum.....
Aana cycle poita cycle stand koodavae poogum.

Train evlo vegama ponalum kadaisi petti kadaisiyathan varum!!!!!

Poison 10 naal aana payasam aaha mudiyaadhu........
But, payasam 10 naal aana poison aahidum!



Thursday, December 08, 2005

 

Little boy

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
'May I speak to your parents?''They're busy.
''Oh. Is anybody else there?''The police.''
"Can I speak to them?''They're busy.''
Oh. Is anybody else there?''The firemen.
''Can I speak to them?''They're busy.
''So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy?
What are they doing?'' Looking for me.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

 

Little Jhonny...

TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
L-JOHNY: George!
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TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!
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TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.
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TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
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L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.
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Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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Teacher: What do you call a person who ! keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher

 

Boss first....

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm"
Moral : "Always allow the boss to speak first"

 

Sparrow

A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still alive, but unconscious. He decided to take him home. When the motorist got home, he put the sparrow in a cage, leaving him some bread and water inside. When the sparrow regained consciousness, he looked around and said:
"Bars, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!!!"

 

Just a second

He said, "God!?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead," God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "a million years to me is only a second."
"Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "a million dollars to me is as a penny."
So the man said, "God. can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!.....just a second."

 

Don’t mess with a child

>>> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>>> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>>> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chipcookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

 

Sardarji - The Kidnapper

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.
In order to raise somemoney he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to theplayground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,
"I'vekidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying:"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paperbag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north sideof the city playground".Signed,"A Sardarji".
The sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him hometo show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, andsure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree.
The Sardarjiopened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying,"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Please leave my son".

 

Cell Phone and Man

Cellula balance illana call panna mudiyathu....
Aaana....
Manushanukku call illana,Balance panna mudiyathu....

Saturday, December 03, 2005

 

THE BEST OF WORST

THE WORST HIJACKING
We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the mostunsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rosefrom his seat, drew gun and took the stewardess hostage. "Take me toDetroit," he demanded. "We're already going to Detroit," she replied."Oh good," he said, and sat down again.
THE WORST BANK ROBBERY
In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank ofScotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. Theyhad to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned andannounced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staffbelieved them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the headcashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Thenone of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutchinghis ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped inthe revolving doors again.
THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE
During the firemen's strike of1978, the British Army had taken overemergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by anelderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had becometrapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soondischarged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited themall in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it!!
LAWYERS VS INSURANCE
This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably thecentury. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare andexpensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things.Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigarsand without yet having made even his first premium payment on thepolicy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In hisclaim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of smallfires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason:that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyersued .. and won!In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance companythat the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that thelawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that thecigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure themagainst fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptablefire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy andcostly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling andpaid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the"fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had himarrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim andtestimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer wasconvicted of intentionally burning his insured property and wassentenced 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

 

Sardarji Jokes!

>>>>Sardar: I hav'nt slept all night in the train.
>>>>Friend: Why?
>>>>Sardar: Got upper berth.
>>>>Friend: Why didn't you exchange?
>>>>Sardar: Oye yaar, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth


>>>>A Teacher lecturing on population - "In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid." A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!!!"


>>>>Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
>>>>Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail"


>>>>Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!


>>>>Sardar told his servant: "Go and water the plants. "
>>>>Servant: It"s already raining."
>>>>Sardar: "So what, take an umbrella and go."


>>>>Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever. What will come first, Chicken or egg? "Oye Yaar, what ever u order first will come first !!!!!!!!!"


>>>>Sardar at an Art Gallery: "I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?"
>>>>Art dealer: "I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror !!!"


>>>>Sardar was writing something very slowly.
>>>>Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?"
>>>>Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."

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