Friday, May 29, 2009
Join the queue
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?
" The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife. " What happened to her? "
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her. "
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also. "
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog? "
The man replied "Join the queue ."
Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?
" The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife. " What happened to her? "
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her. "
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also. "
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog? "
The man replied "Join the queue ."
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
How to answer.... :-)
Teacher : What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher : What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Question: What is the fullform of maths?
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students
Teacher : Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Teacher : Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday
Teacher : Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher : Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.
Teacher: (1)There is a frog,(2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Teacher: Where does God live?
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, ' God, are you still in there?'
Labels: funny answers
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Mixed comedy....
Thalivar: Andha TV mela case podanum..
Thondan: Ean thalaiva??
Thalivar: Nama katchi arambichadha Vilayattu seidhigal-la potrukkan..
Sardar Son: O God! Please make Newyork the capital of Punjab.
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam...
Why are Egyptian's children always confused?? Because after death, their daddy becomes the Mummy!!
Sardar1: Train kandupidichadu nallatha pochu..
Sardar2: yaen??
Sardar1: illaina thandavalam yellam veena poirukkum...!!
Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!
Thondan: Ean thalaiva??
Thalivar: Nama katchi arambichadha Vilayattu seidhigal-la potrukkan..
Sardar Son: O God! Please make Newyork the capital of Punjab.
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam...
Why are Egyptian's children always confused?? Because after death, their daddy becomes the Mummy!!
Sardar1: Train kandupidichadu nallatha pochu..
Sardar2: yaen??
Sardar1: illaina thandavalam yellam veena poirukkum...!!
Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!
Honest Excuse
Boss!
In Memory of all those who love their bosses !
The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
He replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
Monday, October 27, 2008
When Opportunity knocks....
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temper , killing him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!" :-)
When Opportunity knocks.... MAKE USE OF IT !!!!
When Opportunity knocks.... MAKE USE OF IT !!!!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Husbands are husbands...
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round thehead with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny onit that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the nameof the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on thehead with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse phoned"
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Secret behind married life....
Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"
Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."
X asked, "Can you explain?"
Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."
Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"
Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"
X asked, "Then what is your role?"
Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".
Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."
X asked, "Can you explain?"
Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."
Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"
Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"
X asked, "Then what is your role?"
Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Heaven....
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World.So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China .
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when heNoticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for$10,000 you could talk to God.The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan ..
There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephonewith the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China andHe asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 HeCould talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American.
He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France .. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000Per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone. He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, thereWas the same golden telephone, but thi s time the sign under it read "OneRupee per call."
The American wassurprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven,But in the US the price was $10,000 per call.Why is it so cheap here?" Readers, it is your turn........ Think ....before you scroll down... ............ .................... ......... ........ ......... .......... ......... . ............ ......... ......... ......... ..... ............ ........... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... .......... ......... ........ .................. .......... .......... .......... ........ ...... ............ ......... .......... ........... ........ .................. ......... ......... .......... .......... ...... ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .................. ......... ......... ......... ........ ....... ............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. .......... ......... ......... ........ ...... ............ ........... .......... ......... ........ ...... The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call ".This is the only heaven on the Earth.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when heNoticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for$10,000 you could talk to God.The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan ..
There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephonewith the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China andHe asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 HeCould talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American.
He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France .. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000Per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone. He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, thereWas the same golden telephone, but thi s time the sign under it read "OneRupee per call."
The American wassurprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven,But in the US the price was $10,000 per call.Why is it so cheap here?" Readers, it is your turn........ Think ....before you scroll down... ............ .................... ......... ........ ......... .......... ......... . ............ ......... ......... ......... ..... ............ ........... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... .......... ......... ........ .................. .......... .......... .......... ........ ...... ............ ......... .......... ........... ........ .................. ......... ......... .......... .......... ...... ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .................. ......... ......... ......... ........ ....... ............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ................... ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... .............. .......... ......... ......... ........ ...... ............ ........... .......... ......... ........ ...... The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call ".This is the only heaven on the Earth.
Lighter side of poems....
Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you, should be kept in the Zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you...
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And....
I got a heart attack straight away...
God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.
Monkeys like you, should be kept in the Zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you...
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And....
I got a heart attack straight away...
God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.
